Genevieve



You forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.

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Friday, October 31, 2014
hist

Semester classes have officially ended, even though I did finish on Wednesday. It's been such a crazy week. In short, managed to finish English Monday morning around 5am and tolerate an unfairly hot and windy day.

God, stats was a nightmare, I don't know what I would've done without Rowena, Grace and Nayomi. So technically it was kind of sad, I'm sure this is the last time we'll have a shared unit which means nobody to rely on. Nayomi and I stayed at uni till 9pm not even finishing, I'd never been at uni that late before besides oscuro days. It was reassuring seeing plenty of people around struggling through the same assignment though.

Wednesday was bliss with all the assignments out of the way and two remotely enjoyable tutes. Rebecca made us amazing cookies, but it was more like cookie dough since it was slightly undercooked. Going through the practice exam in class made it a little less daunting but then again, you had twenty people cooperatively answering and I don't want to think about the long response. Time to brush up on grammar. Anyway, Liz and I had lunch at manning, the food is so good there I'm not sure why I never eat there. Last claw tute was nice too because my assignment went pretty well so passing this course should be in the stars?

So good to get home and just flop around doing nothing. Which is what I've successfully done for these past two days, it's horrible, I should be studying. Making a plan tonight (probably won't stick to it obviously) ugh maybe assignments were preferable. My sister finished HSC on Wednesday, I hate her.

I randomly sat down at my piano yesterday, which has gathered a disgusting amount of dust since it was last opened probably a year ago or something. So much nostalgia going through all those old AMEB books. Surprisingly, my playing wasn't horrific, it all came back pretty quickly and I've got a small list of songs I want to re-master over the summer. It's also on the tiny downstairs level of the house which will be the coolest place to be when it hits 40 degrees.

It has probably been nearly a year since I've looked at my split ends and guh, should not have left it that long. Just kept shivering every time I found one and there were quite a few so now my carpet is littered with bits of dead hair. If my hair keeps falling out at the rate it has been this last month, going to be bald for 2015.

10:59 PM


Saturday, October 25, 2014
kryptonite

I just learned that using 'but' at the end of a sentence to replace 'though' is a Northern English feature, not just annoying web speak. If it weren't for the fact that I've got a thousand words to write by Monday evening, writing about the history of English would actually be a lot of fun because it's actually super interesting, especially contemplations on the spread of English in modern times.

Just realised it's been a while since last blogging because the last few days have just been drowning under the sea of assignments to complete. Guess it'd be funny to mention now how I nearly stepped on a giant blue tongue lizard on Wednesday. I didn't see it as I was going down some steps from the apartment block but then oh god, my peripheral caught onto some 30cm scaly thing and I just managed to side step and very loudly say fuck before I narrowly avoided squishing it with the soles of docs, which would not have been a pretty sight. It was terrifying, it hissed its blue tongue at me. Wonder what all the neighbours thought.

Nayomi and I accomplished that horrific case study due yesterday which I'd stayed up till 5:30am the night before trying to finish. It makes no sense that to do that when it's due at 5pm the next day, but just the thought of wasting another nine hours because I know I have a bit more time is an even worse prospect than not sleeping.

Yesterday Anika came over! Naturally she had to visit an Apple store after spilling coke on her laptop so we decided to make a day out of it in the boring hills. We went back to my house because my mum needed me to do her hair for my dad's work function, and yeah, now Anika knows why I am the way I am after observing the weirdness of my family.

Since my mum wasn't home to make us dinner, we decided to get some maccas drive-thru and Anika had her first experience driving a new car. With me in the passenger seat, it probably wasn't reassuring. So my dad had parked it facing downward on a hill. Engine was on reverse, there was a truck parked quite close in front of us. Foot off the brake, the car inched downhill and then we had a laughing breakdown for a few minutes, wondering why it wasn't reversing till we realised Anika wasn't exactly pressing the accelerator and was too traumatised to take her foot off of the brake again. Anyway, eventually got to maccas, it was fun HAHA. At least it was a learning curve for her. Then we got some froyo and bade each other farewell till probably late December :(

My sister finishes HSC on Wednesday, the same day the last assignment is due/the day finals revision begins. I hate her.

Grandparents bought a whole bunch of deformed cherries. So far I've counted three fully developed double cherries/boobs/butt and two in a pregnant stage.

5:49 PM


Tuesday, October 21, 2014
mis

The semester is so close to ending, I'm salivating at the thought. Honestly all I want to do is buckle down and study content, so fucking finished with all these assignments except that I'm not actually finished. I've actually managed to get just about half of English done so maybe it can be doable over the weekend.

Rowena and I attempted stats today and wow was it a disaster. I keep wondering how horrific it'd be if I failed and I wouldn't have her or anybody else to basically guide me in everything. Quiz came back and Grace and I only just failed so I mean, pretty good. And apparently our class had one of the higher averages out of the cohort LOL. Thankfully we get a cheat sheet in the final, which means we've got to somehow cram at least 4 pages of formulas onto a double sided sheet. Might need a magnifying glass.

Regretting skipping so many tutes earlier in the semester when I really need to right now. The most horrible thing would be an absence fail though.

INTERNET IS SO SLOW, can't even open MSL which means I've got to wait till midnight when it will hopefully renew the data. And resist youtube. Slowly accustoming to little sleep, I somehow managed to wake up at 7:30 today and get to uni by 10, miracle.

Okay enough time wasting.

10:09 PM


Sunday, October 19, 2014
xalt

Woe, weekend over. The internet is so slow it was barely able to open the twenty journal articles I needed so I spent the weekend home which was nice. My grandparents probably needed a break from my sourness anyway. However, not much was accomplished. Maybe a measly quarter of English but jesus it's only the easy quarter. Haven't even researched the second half yet oh god why does this always happen.

Whoops in reference to my previous post, it would not take only five hours to drive down all of France or Italy, more like a whole day. Time to brush up on some geography.

I think my work anxiety is slipping into my dreams. My memory never catches onto any detail, each dream just seems to happen chaotically.

10:36 PM


Friday, October 17, 2014
syn

The heater is on, something is very wrong with the universe because the weather will apparently stay this cold until November.

The number of formulas we're somehow going to have to remember for stats is beyond me. Strangely studying for HSC maths probably had more but those were short and built on each other but these, jesus. You know things won't turn out well when there are fractions within fractions. Calculator can barely handle it.

My mum has allocated England for me to research for our trip which might have been a bad idea because I'm either going to find author's old homes or stalk Dan and Phil, neither of which will keep everybody happy. I keep fretting about the idea of driving around Europe, because my parents actually want to buy a freaking car in Paris and sell it in Italy, but then I remember how tiny Europe and each country actually is and it would probably take five hours to travel down one country. How nice would it be to just a take a train to the next country, lucky Europeans.

Sport for Jove is producing The Crucible using Bella Vista farms as its set, which could be interesting/excruciating to watch.

Last night I accidentally signed up for Arts mentoring next O-week. Accidentally as in I applied believing it to be a selection process and resigning myself to the likely chance of not being selected. Next second, a confirmation email of my participation appears so not sure... it made me realise that I could potentially be a really bad mentor and god, the pressure of placating first years. Then again, it'd be a resume builder so if the email is how I interpreted it, hopefully this will come of use one day.

Only a fortnight left of semester 2 classes. Feeling a mixture of anticipation and sadness. No more classes with Rowena and Grace or Liz, and I seriously love Trang despite how much I hate claw. All in all, hasn't been too bad a semester, which is still far from saying it was good.

9:32 PM


Wednesday, October 15, 2014
i don't wanna

After looking at my planner, I've realised my three assignments are due within a fortnight. Literally going to die, if I can't get a simple extension for English, everything is doomed. Thankfully exercise 2 went okay so maybe I can do extremely mediocre for the essay and final and pass English. 

It was so bitterly cold today. After those few weeks of warmth, this was horrifying. 

Yesterday was a good day. HIDEOUS STATS QUIZ ASIDE,  I mean 80 marks, are you joking, I had dinner with Christine, Grace and Rowena afterwards. Pretty mediocre ramen where we bumped into Michelle and Orrin, and then dessert at Tom n Toms where I somehow amazed them with my ability to clasp and unclasp a necklace... Oh my god Rowena and I went to the bathroom in QVB and the lock on a stall showed green so naturally you assume it's vacant. Opened the door and this lady was standing and ready to flush. Thank JESUS it was not ten seconds earlier because oh my god the humiliation on both sides, just nope. Thankfully we just laughed really hard about it and thanked the cosmos for saving us. 

Ugh, probably time to get MSL on the way so I can think of a good simple extension excuse and get a start on the ensuing hell.

11:23 PM


Monday, October 13, 2014
vop

Monday blues.

My internet is loading at a slug's pace thanks to my grandparents' incessant drama watching and my unnecessary youtube adventures so this will be a fun fortnight to endure until our data is renewed.

EXCITING NEWS MY MUM BOOKED OUR FLIGHTS TO EUROPE NEXT JULY I'M SO EXCITED. We leave on the 24th June, which runs the risk of interfering with an exam if I have bad enough luck, but whatever, and come back 30th July so I get to miss Week 1 yey. Seriously so excited, Italy, France, England, Belgium, Holland, another country which I've forgotten. I'm really depressed about having to leave my dog again for a whole month, hopefully the guilt will stay hidden underneath the excitement and fun I may or may not have. It is a family trip after all and tensions run high.

In other news, Nayomi and I spent three hours not doing our case study as we'd planned to but it was about time we caught up so still time well spent.

I just knew I was going to get caught in the rain, the huge storm cloud was basically following the bus home so fast because the wind was going crazy. Naturally it starts raining once I step off the bus, not too hard though, just powerful wind so the umbrella was redundant. And then I'm maybe one minute from home and the showers just descended, it was ridiculous, I couldn't really see because water was just dripping into my eyes. Obviously the sky knew that our stats quiz was coming up tomorrow and that we were doomed. It's hard to imagine how miserable the final will be if we're struggling to do these quizzes with our formulas right in front of us.

HSC started today and apparently my sister messed up already, accidentally analysing two texts in a Section 1 question instead of one. Good old memories.

9:43 PM


Sunday, October 12, 2014
tu

Sigh, after missing two Mondays (thank you break and public holiday), not looking forward to tomorrow. The day has been filled with stats, thankfully that's the last exam before finals, can focus on writing after Tuesday.

I've been thinking that I'd like to take up a semester of Latin or Greek one day. The prospect of learning a whole new grammar is horrifying but I think it'd be so cool to master enough of a language to read a couple of texts, especially the great historical epics. It's likely I'd completely fail and regret it if the decision goes through.

HSC tomorrow, my sister is freaking out. Good memories.

11:49 PM


Saturday, October 11, 2014
imnew

I may have relaxed a bit too hard after submitting that claw assignment.

Yesterday consisted of Youtube and Candy Crush and nothing else but rolling around trying to contain period cramps. Yeah it literally came right after I finished my assignment that night. Can't catch a break.

Went back home for fish night, and we had a good fit over Alex pronouncing 'ching-gez han' instead of Genghis Khan. We also found some more interesting books in the mess that is our garage. I also realised that I have only read five whole books this year instead of the 18 benchmark. So assuming I can knock off Catch-22, in December, I can probably add another one to make the whole count seven. So proud.

On a slightly related note, STC is producing Orlando next December! My mum has also booked the family tickets to go and see their production of King Lear, mainly because she wants to see Geoffrey Rush. That means I gotta read the play by next year. It's such an infuriating story, just as bad as Othello.

Anyway today, on my way home, I saw a baby bird running along the grass and it had really long legs. It was probably running because it heard my footsteps. Then I saw it tumble onto its back and then it just stayed there so I was afraid it'd be like those beetles that inevitably die because it can't right itself up. I started prodding it with a stick because it wasn't even trying to move and after a few cars had driven by, probably wondering what I was crouching over and poking, it finally got up and ran off again. Walking underneath trees in spring is terrifying with all the nests and mama birds swooping at you. On my way back, this cat started following me and would jump on the stairs in front of me meowing. I don't know cats, I was afraid it'd launch itself at me, but it just let me pet it. Probably smelled my dog on my clothes.

It was so hilarious, my sister and I were ultimately procrastinating and started throwing cereal into each other's mouths. Granted we weren't very good at it, so Buttons would be in between us running from one to another following the cereal. She probably ate more than the both of us combined. Sigh, we're not sure what to do with her when we go to Europe next year, it's going to be so heartbreaking leaving her again.

Now it's 8pm and the day is gone and I'm screwed for the upcoming week.

8:00 PM


Thursday, October 9, 2014
nad

I was being pretty good today, diligently spewing out nonsense for claw. Maybe 200 words left and then a whole lot of editing and figuring out referencing oh god. I could do it tomorrow when my mind is fresher but no, then I'd end up working on it till 5pm when it's due when I'd rather just have a day of rest. It's time to do my nails.

Exam timetables finally came out. Honestly, mine is great. 11th, 15th, 19th and 21st. But it means that I finish on the second last day WHICH IS SO LATE and once you see everyone else going peace out suckers done for three months, whatever pathetic semblance of motivation you might've had just disappears. So somehow I've got to ignore all social media forms after that first week when most people seem to be done. It does mean their timetables are shitty, but SUMMER BREAK. It might be worth the trade off.

Seeing bubz mention that she was going to a Yiruma concert brought back so much nostalgia and I just listened to some of his live pieces, soaking up those Year 7-8 memories and feeling depressed that I can no longer play Maybe, 27 May and Kiss the Rain. Only River Flows in You, and everybody still seems to be able to remember it after all these years.

On another musical nostalgic note, I was listening to Beyonce pre-Run the World before all of her music went to shit and people weren't bowing down to her. It was all just so good and now, sad.

The thought just crossed my mind; what if some random person has stumbled upon this blog and decided to gather all the personal information about me that they could find and somehow find me and kill me one day. I'd totally be asking for it, so it's made me once again think about recording a written journal. I'd probably be way too lazy since I already force myself to type it up each time, but maybe it'll be more enlightening. And there'd be much more I could say. Maybe with the new year, I don't know.


11:03 PM


Wednesday, October 8, 2014
pif

The cold returned today, even though it actually stayed pretty damn warm all through the afternoon. Not looking forward to hot uni days and cold bus rides.

Who would've thought Middle English was just as bad as Old English. I'm really afraid about this final now, and if I don't ace the exercise and essay, then there's no chance of passing this course. Didn't think it'd come to viewing a pass as ambitious, really didn't (except for accounting).

SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR CLAW. Trang did say they'd mark keeping in mind that this new structure and style of writing was totally new to most people, but this is also 30% so um can't afford to fail because apparently it's really easy to fail the final too. Just continue the obvious here.

Because this month is going to be so hectic, I have to miss out on things like VERGE sigh. We were asked to perform some OSCURO pieces again and I really want to because it's been a long time since I've danced but the time THE TIME. I think I may have to ask for a simple extension for one assignment soon, even though I want so badly to get them all out of the way so that there's time to catch up and prepare for finals.

Missing home, family, dog. And being alone, god.

8:11 PM


Tuesday, October 7, 2014
will i

Semester has unfortunately resumed. In hindsight, the break actually felt really long, I just failed to make use out of it, even though I probably left the house for fun only once.

BUT DAYLIGHT SAVING HAS STARTED YES YES YES! God, I love spring/summer.

My mum and I were watching a documentary on animal birth, specifically dolphins and whales and it was just so fascinating and the visuals, imagining the effort that goes into filming all these documentaries. Nature and wildlife makes you really appreciate the complexity of creation and just makes it even more unfathomable to believe we could discover any sort of conclusion as to how it any of it happened. Dolphin dicks are WEIRD.

I spent Sunday afternoon at home with Edwina and then we were looking over the 2013 HSC eco and math papers. Oh how the memories just came flooding back... it was depressing remembering just how much information I'd forgotten. Wouldn't feel that way about chem though HAHA, and 'chem' has been underlined red for the longest time and I only just decided to add it to the dictionary. Point being it resulted in a totally unproductive day.

Annie, bless her, spent ages last night helping me get a fucking move on with i.e. basically structuring and planning out this deceptively simple claw assignment. Of course I've still got maybe 1000 words to write by Friday evening. That would be a no to Sandra for architecture drinks and free BBQ tomorrow night :( Thank god the weekend starts again after tomorrow.

Uni was good today though, obviously skipped Dmytro's stats lecture and reunion with Rowena and Grace in our very confusing but ultimately enlightening tute. Or at least enlightening enough to help me pass the quiz next week. Then we made the probable mistake of going out to dinner when we should've gone straight home to work but nah, had a nice stroll to Central Park for some Din Tai Fung. It was actually my first time eating there. The food was pretty average, nothing too special. N2 was selling matcha creme brulee ice cream which had rave reviews but ugh ceebs, $8. Or maybe I should just allow Tuesday to be my only eating out day, and somehow starve through my other two days at uni.

Do not want to contemplate other assignments even though they're all I think about oh god, this month, just let it end. I'm also very afraid for exam timetables this Thursday. Just no more than one exam a day. Seriously, a 13 day exam period, that wasn't a good sign from the start.

11:12 PM


Friday, October 3, 2014
^

Shitty shit shit three more days left till semester restarts. The horror.

Bailed on yoga yesterday (and today) which makes me feel super bad because the everybody knows us as the beginners and yeah don't want it to seem like we just gave up. Returning tomorrow, gonna try tank an 8am session.

We had a family lunch at a Taiwanese eatery in Eastwood and the food was pretty good, except I ordered noodle soup when we were going to eat pasta for dinner sigh. Then I somehow wasted away three hours in between lunch and having to leave to the city for Christine's birthday dinner. I think she liked her gift. Anyway food was good, portions were huuuge thank goodness Christine and I shared, we learned from last time. It was just really nice seeing old friends again. After dinner we headed next door to Shark Hotel and chilled around, had some drinks, had a lot of quick fucks going around mm. Who knows, probably the last time I'd see some of these people again.

This morning, after browsing through shoes online and feeling the urge to purchase $400 worth, I felt it was finally time to stop avoiding writing a resume so I did, and it's not so bad. The online templates for 'inexperienced' teenagers are useless. Baby sitting and pet walking, really? There are also a few casual openings in some retail stores in Towers so I put my application in and guess I'll hope for the best. It's been a good way to procrastinate from all these assignments.

Never check the TV guide. I facepalmed when I saw GWTW scheduled for tomorrow afternoon ugh. Maybe I'll watch the first and last two hours so I can skip all the war plot, even though that is where the sexy kiss occurs.

Daylight saving on Sunday! Even though it means losing an hour of precious time, finally FINALLY it will not be dark until 7pm.

5:04 PM


Wednesday, October 1, 2014
beet

Damn, October.

Day 2 bikram was surprisingly not too bad, though that's probably because I was better hydrated and had hideous expectations going back into that torture chamber, but no nausea or faintness and it actually just felt amazing afterwards. It had me starving though, I ate so much food afterwards that the workout was probably made redundant.

Rowena was keen on going to see Ingrid Michaelson with me but then we saw that the ticket prices almost double from $30 something to $66... Sigh, time to find employment.

Midsem break is half over, fuck it's been such a slack five days and there'll be no time to work tomorrow and then jesus it's Friday.

Finally got to talk to Anika after way too long so that always makes for a goodnight. I also managed a vague, probably useless outline of my claw assignment so at least knowing what to do or what not to do will slightly reduce the workload, or just the degree of my anxiety.

Ready for some good food tomorrow.

11:42 PM