We've come to the end of July. Four more months till 3 months of bliss, cannot wait.

English is really hard. I spent hours last night attempting to read probably only 30 out of maybe 70 pages of my reader. There are so many terms and concepts and google isn't even providing me links to help explain any of them. The few areas I did manage to understand was super interesting though; all the different degrees of communication and expanding on the measly Saussure we learned in textual dynamics i.e. signifier/signified. I hope there's at least one clueless person in my tute because quite a few of the students taking this unit have already studied linguistics.

I made poached eggs this morning! Originally the plan was just to attempt the whirlpool method but looking at the water just made me nervous and very reluctant to sacrifice two eggs so I resorted to the glad wrap method which worked like a dream. Breakfast is great. Having to pick between eggs/toast or cereal or oatmeal every day hurts.

My body is aching from blogilates last night and hip hop today. BUT it was worth it because blood is finally looking polished and good enough to penultimately end the show. AND THE WEATHER WAS FUCKING GORGEOUS UGH, just wanted to frolic around in the sun.

I don't think my mind will be able to comprehend any more English or endure any claw so going to call it an early night and try to get as much done in the day tomorrow before dance in the evening again ugh and all day at Elena's ugh. Falling behind like a champ already.

Suk finally turns 18 tomorrow, but I'm sure she's engaging in 18+ activities right now. I remember the cake I bought her last year melted because she left it in the cottage till school ended.

OOH I'm so close to the splits! I actually managed to get my crotch on the floor once last week but was unable to hold it. It will happen. I'm starting to enjoy the awful hamstring burn.

The past week has been tiring. Boot camp on Friday and Sunday has had me sore till today and considering there's going to be at least three rehearsals a week for the next fortnight, plus the two nights of the show, my body won't get to recover anytime soon. Hip hop has finally come together in terms of blocking especially after half of our music was cut, just time to intensely clean. And find costumes, jesus christ.

In other news, semester 2 has started yaaaaay. I'm hoping it won't be too shitty because I think my lecturers are engaging enough. Except maybe for claw, but that's because it's essentially legal studies again. Not sure what I was thinking, sigh.

English should be interesting. At first I was really bitter that we had two 1-hour lectures but it actually helps me concentrate on increments as opposed to the 2-hour lectures for other subjects. No text analyses but a course intensely breaking down the English language and semiotics and all that. After attempting my readings, I realise that this is going to require a huge effort if I want to understand and keep up with everything.

Big Brother was only $5 at co-op :') Somehow I'm going to balance leisure reading on top of uni work this semester. My unchecked book list is making me sad so instead of reading 18 books this year which obviously is not going to happen, I'll aim for 10. I did finish Kafka on the Shore on Sunday and man, the more I thought about it, the more betrayed I felt. It was just a mess to me. Murakami raised too many questions and answered none of them and there is a point when a story goes, for the worse, beyond fantastic and inventive and challenging. Ugh, and the disappointment hit even harder considering it's his most renowned work ignoring Norwegian Wood. That was not good.

The past two days have experienced beautiful weather and I actually sweated for the first time in ages, probably due to the huge coat I had on. It was strangely reminiscent of the weeks just before we graduated when it slowly warmed up and the sun was being very generous. That joy over the weather just before summer really hits is worth the insufferable heat later.

Man, it took a little while to remember how good solitude is. The realisation mainly came after finally stocking this empty apartment up on groceries a couple of days ago.

Days have mainly consisted of Murakami and still not feeling it as much as Hardboiled but my god, the anticipation for the conclusion. I feel pretty resigned as I progress through the last hundred pages (out of six hundred mind you) because I'm certain we won't be provided any answers. The author usually doesn't know what they are anyway. Therefore, a lot of the excitement towards finishing this is the freedom to start something new. Besides Catch 22. Whatever. I tried. Finally going to buying some books, it's been a long time since I have, but considering I've actually made a tiny progress in getting through my unread books, I think the reward is deserved.

OSCURO is fast approaching. It's pretty crazy. I've been involved since early semester one and it's indicated how much time has passed. Still, the show isn't going to be that great. For the love of god, are people blind to the complete lack of synchronisation is virtually every piece, it drives me insane. To think all these people grew up dancing.

Boot camp is tomorrow and Sunday and my body is so not ready for this. That and I forgot to learn 8 seconds of very quick and difficult choreo these holidays oops, gotta somehow manage a semblance of it tonight ugh. And maybe put my body through some intense stretching now so I'll be slightly loose tomorrow. SWEET POTATO FRIES, JEN AND I ARE COMING.

Haven't been able to stop listening to Sam Smith. Initially I really hated the original recording of Latch, which was inevitable after hearing the amazing acoustic version first but idk I've warmed up to it because it means I have the same song for different moods :)

Kind of been a shitty week. It's occurring to me that winter break is about to end and I feel like drowning myself at the thought of going back to lectures and tutorials and rehearsals. The semester is too damn long and too fucking draining.

So off to Canberra on Tuesday and the coach ride was pretty bad. Stupid bitch in front of us was chatting on the phone and then painting her nails. YOU DO NOT DO THAT IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE. Ugh and it was so cold when we arrived and idk got way too wasted that night, so much so that I barely touched alcohol for the rest of the week which definitely impeded on the phone. It was really great to see Suk though, missed that alcoholic bitch.

Wednesday was just feeling hungover despite the huge greasy breakfast the boys cooked up for us so I pretty much just chilled in Suk's room trying to screw my head back on. We went to Honky Tonks LOL with a completely munted Christine, and my memory is guessing we just went back to Chris' for argileh before Margaret and Suk and I headed back up for a pretty hilarious night in despite Andrew chundering all over her sink.

After a mediocre breakfast at Gus', the three of us just chilled inside for most of Thursday reading and watching Myscene and Barbie Rapunzel before going out because free entry Thursdays (Y) Fuck, it was the coldest that night I swear, idk how all these sluts just pranced around in nothing but a dress while a cardigan and a coat couldn't keep out the chill. It was hilarious. We got there pretty early so it was just a circle of us girls dancing alone until this gross white guy and short asian just circled our group like vultures. We had to keep shifting ourselves in that formation throughout the night, protecting each other from rapey dudes. Ugh so much muntedness that night.

On Friday, it was time to give poor Chris a break so we helped him clean his place which was a disaster after the past few days. Us girls headed out to Civic for some pho and grocery shopping and Meet Fresh before cooking pasta for a very very late dinner at Herschell's place. Girls' night except for Pat in the beginning LOL and we just played very stressful games of Taboo before heading down to the common room for some very fail goon pong. That was probably the best night. We pretty much stayed up till 6am revealing inappropriate things before heading out to maccas. Tanya went barefoot, it makes me shudder remembering how cold it was. It was worth it though.

Ugh only managed a couple hours of sleep this morning before I had to shower and pack to finally head home. Such a party pooper but home was all I wanted after that first night. Unfortunately, didn't occur to me that Saturday coaches would be filled with families and people going to the airport so it wasn't a very comfortable nor quiet ride, though I did manage a bit of sleep.

The plan was to sleep early but considering the earliest I've slept this past week is 3am, it isn't happening. But really got to get back into routine soon, lifestyle is so fucked up so there's just a lot of regret of essentially wasting this week.

idk.

On Thursday, Ravie and I met up for dinner! It was so great to see her and talk a little more extensively than we got to in our English periods. Finally I got to try the sangria at Coco Cubano because it was happy hour and yum it was delicious. We decided to brace the cold and queued up for N2. Was so excited about the syringe, not sure why.

Yesterday was a piece of shit. Well besides seeing Buttons and letting her numb my thighs while she slept on them. But the trip to the airport to drop off my grandparents was unbearably long and the trip home was even worse after getting into a fight with my mum and not being able to eat the Krispy Kreme donuts she bought me right before I snapped. Pride thing, I guess. Bad timing, seeing as there isn't really much food back here in the empty apartment.

It was feeling a little lonely but thankfully She's the Man was a good and necessary distraction.

Weak attempt at cleaning today which really just means vacuuming and a load of washing. I have yet to sort out the mess that is my room and bathroom.

FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON PLL. It's getting pretty good, especially after the last two seasons which were too boring to keep up with. Caleb's back and looking so damn good, all these feels.

Still unsure about Canberra. There's only a fortnight left of holidays and I'm feeling pretty reluctant to spend almost a week of that there instead of settling in alone and preparing for semester 2.

Wow, it's been a lot longer than I thought since I last posted. Kept reminding myself everyday to record whatever mediocrity occurred earlier in the day, but never can seem to remember what better things I had to do. Obviously not sleep.

So here is a summary of an uneventful fortnight (thanks to my pathetic daily five-line journal entries), made to be enjoyed or feel horrified about when my future self decides to stalk my past self.

On 27/06, I upset myself making a really failed rhubarb cake because I should've realised there was too much batter for the pan and it wouldn't fully cook through.

On 28/06, it was a little bit nostalgic because GEM had GWTW playing from approx 1-6, just like the Saturday after Christine and I finished trials and I forced her to watch it too. Naturally that just ignited intense sexual frustration because Clark Gable. The cold front also decided to come and make the winds go mental for one frustrating week of uncontrollable hair.

I also finally decided to move back to the apartment which felt a little miserable because despite how much I hate my parents' house, it was really nice to be around them because I could actually communicate. Kinda hard to do that with a language barrier here. Plus I'd missed my dog immensely, and it was worse because seeing her on a very irregular basis made her care about me less. So this was some well needed bonding time and I've promised to not go without seeing her for more than a few days at a time. It'll also be a nice incentive to get outside more.

On 29/06, enough was enough with mindless TV watching. Finally picked up Catch-22 again and actually progressed a few chapters to reach 300 pages which is probably about 55% of the book. There might be hope of my actually finishing this before semester starts. It's been so hard to enjoy reading though because after exams, the last thing my brain wants is making effort to intake information.

On 30/06, Edwina and I watched Bridget Jones' Diary and Love Actually ugh, can't get enough of Colin Firth. OOH and Wimbledon 4th round matches were starting so it was back to exam schedules i.e. sleeping at 3am. Just awful, half the time not worth it.

Then July came and it was hard to believe that half of the year had just disappeared. Michelle had her 19th birthday dinner at Vapiano's, a year after her 18th party :) The paying system at that restaurant was very efficient and idk guess the pesto was mediocre but those dessert jars were goood and it was nice catching up with people. What wasn't nice was my period and the freezing cold.

WHAT WAS EVEN WORSE WAS NADAL LOSING TO FUCKING KYRGIOS. Seriously so upset and hungry by the time the match ended around 3am that I just cried. It was even worse the next day when everything fucking media outlet was bragging about their Australian hero. Hopefully he'll turn out like Tomic and we'll hear the end of Australians in tennis please.

On 02/07, I gave up on Heller and proceeded to Murakami. Figured it was finally time to see what the buzz about Kafka was. So far, a little bit meh about the perspectives he's writing from and that the structure of connected narratives is just like Hardboiled but I'm betting there's a mind blowing connection so sticking through it.

On 03/07, my mum and I made a failed attempt to find my sister a present at Parra except that I ended up getting a couple of books and a hat and she got an item of clothing, oops. Oh before that, I had a heart attack in the morning, making the mistake of checking my email and realising that 1030 results were out. Not to mention my BB kept fucking up so it was so agonising BUT PASSED OMG. Such a relief, I was most afraid for accounting.

On 04/07, my dog went into surgery. It was supposed to be a casual vet check up on a bump we thought was maybe very severe acne haha... Turns out it could have some sort of cancerous cells or it could be a tumor who knows so there was no question about whether it should've been removed immediately. Couldn't stop crying for most of the day, and not even because of the surgery because I knew it'd be alright. Just that look she gave us when the vet took her to the back was so sad and full of betrayal and feelings of abandonment, since the last time we left her somewhere after a car ride, we didn't come back for a month.

Nothing to worry about, she was normal as ever when we picked her up later that night. The stitches just looked pretty gruesome, but no complaints since the alternative was an open wound if there wasn't enough skin to sew it up. Swollen eyes did mean that I couldn't stay awake for Wimbledon semis. However, I did wake up right in time for the match point between Djokovic and Dimitrov, and Roger's first set.

On 05/07, there was an urge to bake red velvet cupcakes so I did it. The cake was so fluffy and light this time but idk, the frosting was way too sickening. I remember some good conversations with Anika, Christine and Suk and it reminds me of how grateful I am for them. Even though two don't live in the state anymore.

On 06/07, my mum and I went to Costco for the first time. Total noobs, completely unaware about the membership to purchase so it was pretty embarrassing at the checkout line when we found out. It wasn't that special, but I would live in those aisles of chocolates and nuts and sweets.

I also went to DFO for the second time after an unimpressive trip maybe eight years ago? It was still pretty disappointing but I did finally get a new wallet.

That night was so painful, I'm cringing while I remember how close Federer was to his 8th Wimbledon victory and 18th grand slam victory. There was so much hope, SO MUCH, and the outcome should have been clear from Djoko's second set victory. All we could do was hope he'd lose his cool and lose because of his mental game but nope, somehow persevered after Roger miraculously saved that miserable 4th set which already had me close to tears. ALL THAT HOPE FOR THE FIFTH SET. No doubt it was partly attributed to the fact that Federer only served first in one set which was such a disadvantage when you're trying to stay mentally calm. Ugh, naturally cried when he hit the ball into the net, allowing Novak to win. Such a fantastic match though, top notch tennis, upsetting outcome but future hope for Fed. Ugh tennis withdrawal.

On 07/07, met up with Christine and Sandra for lunch at Pappa Rich, sticking to our diets. Ugh then trekked almost half an hour to get to Tiffany's to buy my sister her gifts. Stood around the store on my phone debating with my mum over what to get for twenty minutes, obviously looking very foolish.

Sob, the Dymocks book AND stationery store in the city is amazing.

Yesterday, 08/07, was my sister's 17th birthday. Like any other day except we went to Homebush to pick up a black forest cake that was heavenly a few years ago and was pretty shitty this time. We also had pretty shitty Korean bbq for dinner. The meat wasn't marinated, dipping sauce was plain and we had to cut up the chunks of meat ourselves. Desperately needing Suminoya.


Probably the longest post ever, even longer than graduation or lipsync I'm guessing. Anyway today, made the mistake of downloading Sims freeplay again for my iPad and ugh, I'd progressed well on my phone last year before I decided to delete it all. Regret, starting over is so frustrating. Plus every task was taking too long so I decided to watch Daria which I haven't done since January.

My grandparents are leaving this Friday. I'll miss them but can't deny my anticipation for peace and solitude. Unlike last year, I will actually try my hand at cooking instead of walking back home for dinner everyday.