Genevieve
You forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.
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Tuesday, December 31, 2013
NYE 2013
Another year gone, possibly a year I will still consider one of the best of my life in many years to come. There'll always be a pivotal year in every era of our lives and almost 18 years coming to a close should be a good reason to celebrate this NYE. But it's just too hard to get into the mood, being with overly enthusiastic family and being singled out for lacking excitement.
Guess my aversion to change has not changed. It didn't have time to develop in the two months after HSC and three after grad, but that's because we were in this timeless period of nothingness and now, well, just tacking on 2014 to the end of dates confirms that it's time to goddamn move on.
Nobody reads this, except a select few, so I won't feel like I'm making a fool of myself being a mopey nostalgic dumb shit on the Eve of a new era. But 2013 was (still is, for half an hour) too big of a year to simply let go of. So much change, good and bad, so much learning and maturing and self discovery. It was never going to be an unlucky year. Couldn't have asked for more, wouldn't want to change a thing. I'm so grateful for everything that's happened, everyone I've met who put everything that's happened into motion. So in this last half hour of an incredible year, I'm going to hold onto it as long as possible.
Goodbye 2013.
2014, May you be as fantastic as your predecessor, if not better. Happy New Year.
11:31 PM
Monday, December 30, 2013
skjdfdkjfbkzdjbfks
Saturday:
Missing days of blogging means my memories of individual dies coalesce into one big blur of uneventful happenings. I think I went home to eat some delicious salmon my mum prepared, and then played whatever candy crush levels my sister was on which is into the 400s...
Sunday:
Yesterday I decided to start reading my blog since the beginning of 2012 after reading Elaine's and being prompted to reflect back. It has been so weird, some things that happened a whole two years ago feel like they happened this year, and wow it was agony reading back on how I used to write. It was nice though, Year 11 is really hard to remember so I enjoyed reminiscing.
Monday:
As of now, I am up to reading midway through 2013 and all these memories are so clear but while I can visualise them so easily, I feel it's harder to actually relate to everything because I've changed so much from who I was when I wrote everything. Even if that change isn't very noticeable to outsiders.
So that's what I've been doing all day. Very exciting. Anyway time to continue reminiscing with Anika.
11:10 PM
Friday, December 27, 2013
around the corner
Boxing Day enjoyed pleasant weather as opposed to Christmas Day, so sucks to all the people cramped inside for the sales that aren't that great anyway. Spent the day reading and chasing my dog and eating leftovers. At night, I decided to watch The Misfits, and there is little that is better than Clark Gable courting Marilyn Monroe and then him wrestling a mustang mm.
Today, made even better use of my time watching An Officer and a Gentleman admiring Richard Gere in his prime years. Then it was You've Got Mail because any rom com with Tom Hanks and/or Meg Ryan is too good to pass. Guess I shall end the night with LOTR but only to admire Aragon and. Legolas because I could never get into the plot.
Looks like I'll be exiting 2013 and entering 2014 with a bang.
10:34 PM
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
we're happy tonight
Well, Christmas was a pleasant surprise. This usually happens with low expectations which I gotta be grateful for sometimes.
I stayed up till 5am this morning working on my mum's stupid DIY birthday present. Anika accompanied me till about 3am, it had been a while since we communicated.
Woke up at 9am somehow and the rain started and didn't stop all day. Headed home and then we all sat around opening our presents. Nobody was excited this year because of all the timber job and stress of last minute shopping. Usually everyone gives everyone else a vague wish list but this year was total guess work which, while more difficult, was so much more rewarding when we opened them with no expectation of what we were going to get.
So I'm super happy with my haul, and I think the best thing that I got was a cushion with Elvis' face on it djksdhdkjadbsiaugidh I could tell it was a cushion from the wrapping and I really see no need for cushions but I flipped when I saw his face plastered on it hehe. Also got a four DVD Clark Gable set, Clinique chubby sticks, bath balls, a couple of books and CDs, money obviously, notebooks and a new Fossil bracelet. I think everyone did a pretty good job scrounging for parents in the past two days.
Oh my god lunch... Too much food I couldn't handle it, but surprisingly there haven't been that many leftovers compared to other years so maybe we'll be able to finish everything tomorrow.
It was just a nice day spent with family, and I'm enjoying seeing my dog more again.
11:10 PM
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
rupapa
Christmas Eve, uneventful as ever.
My whole family was at towers this morning doing last minute Christmas shopping. Apparently the line for seafood wound out of the shopping centre to the car park, like HUNDREDS of people, it's so ridiculous. Christmas is such a fucking capitalist scam. But anyway got the last of gifts done. And then it took a couple of hours wrapping while Alex finished up most of the downstairs and we were able to move our furniture back. Now we have to be careful when we lean on furniture because they slip easier with the soft grip things we had to attach to the bottoms to prevent scratches.
Dinner constituted of Thai takeaway HAHA better than maccas last year, but what's to celebrate anyway? Takeout is good as anything else. Just watched Home Alone and tried to stay awake through the carols which are so boring, idk how people sit there for hours. Seriously best view is from home, for ALL of those things.
Anyway, might call it an early night. I've been feeling much more socially disconnected lately (like I wasn't already) after spending so much more time with my family. Then again, people only tell you to keep people around for networking benefits.
It'll be nearing the countdown to New Year in a week's time, a thought that fills me with anxiety reminiscent of graduating, though probably not as intense. Not ready for a new me, that can't even exist after two months of monotony and nine months of stress. Guess we'll have to wait until March.
Merry fucking Christmas.
11:39 PM
Monday, December 23, 2013
smooth
Hmm, it's been a pretty hectic few days.
On Saturday, I finally decided to begin Christmas shopping which was a total nightmare and towers is beyond boring. However I did manage to find some things for my parents. Lawl not for my sister who bought me a goddamn iPad Air how am I supposed to match that.
I also decided to give up trying to remember what happened and just restart reading Catch-22 and progress is going better than the first attempt, though that's probably because I was supposed to be studying for exams during the first reading attempt which prevented being able to focus on the story. It better be as spectacular and Suk promised.
Returned to towers on Sunday and somehow managed to find some more presents BUT STILL ONLY FOR MY PARENTS goddamnit my grandparents won't be getting a gift this year. Then I went home and helped my sister bake and decorate sugar cookies for some party she's going to, while watching Love Actually. And then I was forced to stay overnight on the couch because my bed was occupied with my mum's wardrobe. As a results, I woke up at 6am, thanks to Buttons spitting on my face in excitement, with a sore back which was exacerbated by today's labours.
Today, my mum and I helped Alex glue and stick on the last two areas of timber flooring downstairs which took so long. We shouldn't complain though, since last year it took so much longer and with less space upstairs to cover.
Oh yeah and my grandparents collected their newly bought car today... We've just decided to let them do whatever the hell they want.
While rummaging through my desk, I found an envelope and realised on opening it that it was the letter I sent to my Year 12 self during life and resilience week in Year 10. It was so strange reading what preoccupied me back then and I felt this need to write a letter back (to myself) so I did. I ended up with four pages detailing how I've changed from Year 11 to Year 12 so I figured, why not, let's open this a year from now, see the way I perceive my past self and then write another letter and open it the next year and so on and so forth. I mean, right now is kind of a perfect time to think about self discovery and all that jazz. It's going to be a very interesting read in a year. If I can remember, I'll do this every December 23rd. I only settled with this date because the original letter was written November 23rd which annoyed me that I was a month late but oh well.
Anyway, after four hours sleep and a day's work, I am exhausted and it's time for a well deserved rest.
11:33 PM
Friday, December 20, 2013
I'm great
Well yesterday was an eventful day. I'm so proud of everyone, though I am peeved that English hasn't scaled as well as usual this year and that everyone who did maths extension was guaranteed a better ATAR.
Anyway, turnout at the tea was a little pathetic but whatever, had a nice time chatting with the teacher again. Apparently Hindy is expecting another kid and he's moving up to Newcastle because he wants a backyard. What a shame, we'll never see him again, but he accepted my friend request on Facebook :)
Lunch with Christine, Jess, Anika, Joumana and Pat and we went to Bavarian Bier Cafe. I consumed a hot dog that was probably 25-30cm long. Food was great, definitely going back so I can get those cheaper daily specials mm. Then we did some shopping when Brandon joined us and sigh, just wasn't in the mood. Group shopping is never productive.
It wasn't a very good night HAHA just thankful that I ran into April and Sharon from primary at the bus stop, otherwise I would've spent the night on that bench. And I feel nauseous at the thought of chicken burgers.
Today was super hot but it was manageable if I lay down and didn't move all day.
Finished Murakami's Hardboiled! Very ambiguous and open ended as expected, but surprisingly satisfactory. And then I figured it was time to resume Catch 22. However, so devastated when I literally could not remember anybody or anything that had happened and I can't bring myself to reread those 76 pages omfg.
It's been a good night because Shawshank Redemption was on which was fantastic, I nearly cried. However American Beauty was also on so I had to keep alternating channels but now Shawshank is finished and I can enjoy the last half hour of American Beauty uninterrupted. Lester just found out that Angela is a virgin. Art of sacrifice was the best unit. And now he dies.
11:52 PM
Thursday, December 19, 2013
It's done.
Blogging now cause I probably won't be home by midnight but wow okay. It's been a good morning. Except when I was rudely awakened by Christine at 8:30 to check ATAR OKAY THEY SAID 9AM WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS.
Guess I'm pretty pleased with mine, expectations considered and all. AND HORNSBY CAME THIRD, DON'T CARE IF IT IS ONLY BASED ON DISTINGUISHED ACHIEVERS, I AM SO GODDAMN PROUD. No need for shame at the morning tea which I've got to go and get ready for now.
10:03 AM
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
this is it
Can't remember what happened yesterday, I was probably spending most of the day trying to distract myself from today.
Oh but Anika and I did stay up for a little, or a lot. Did not end up sleeping till 3am because I was feeling so anxious about results and then I was worried I wouldn't wake up on time which would be even worse.
Successfully woke up at 5:45 and drowsily went to the site and by then it was probably 5:50 so when I logged on, I wasn't expecting any results to show. They said 6am. So the shock I got when a table of results turned up woke me up and I was freaking out about whether these were mine or just a sample. It was a very rude awakening.
However, I have no right to complain about anything considering how little I really tried this year, except that ext 2 could have been better, but hey, four band 6s and no band 4 OMFG CHEM THANK THE LORD, NO BAND 4.
I probably spent an hour refreshing the BOS page so I could see all the other achievement lists but sigh, fell asleep for an hour or so. But when those results did come up, hours were spent looking through the distinguished achievers and it just feels really good to be up there. Think I screenshot my name.
Very proud of our school for 31 all rounders. However lots of other schools have heaps more and if the newspapers only base our school ranks on that, then it might seem that we did not do as well as we really did.
Anyway, the worst is to come in about ten hours. I'm dreading facing Winch so much. Time to shower and try and relax myself to sleep.
Let it be.
11:30 PM
Monday, December 16, 2013
hateful
Mother took me to Hornsby because we're both sick as hell of towers. Ended up spending half of the free three hour parking in Myer and hehe got some clothes. This really weird tree green maxi skirt and this pretty ugly balloon sleeve denim jacket which don't look too bad on me, and then this striped dress that fits as a midi on me and a maxi on my mum and sister so it's communal and multifunctional.
Plan to go to city was made better by the fact that it was Speech Day today so Jess and I decided to meet up. It was so weird seeing all the students /cue sense of not belonging. Saw Sylvia and Jenny and Jo in their uniforms, it was nice. Also caught up with Winch and Burke but Motherwell apparently sneaked out of the building too fast so I guess I'll just see her on Thursday.
I had intentions to attempt Christmas shopping for my family but it got really warm and Jess and I were too full from ramen and matcha ice cream to really bother looking around. I just bought two short story collections by Bukowski and Delillo and a Lush mask and yep we left pretty early. Omfg what are the chances that the same screaming toddler takes the same bus that I take to and from the city REALLY?!
Spent the afternoon and evening reading short stories online. If anyone feels the urge to feel sick and horrified, read Guts by Palahniuk.
Kind of bummed that school ends Wednesday. I mean, it seems more appealing to return to school while it actually feels like school with students milling around and everything, plus I can finally collect my stupid mug but the cottage will probably be locked. Anyway all I'm hoping is that more students turn up than the number of teachers who have to be there on Thursday for staff development day.
I JUST WANT FUCKING PEACE IN THIS GODDAMN HOUSE.
10:23 PM
Saturday, December 14, 2013
more please
I'm so close to finishing Hardboiled but the ending is going to be so unsatisfying so I'm delaying the inevitable.
Today is my mum's birthday! Very unprepared and lol still don't have a gift because she's deciding what she wants us to buy. But this morning, got some last minute ingredients at Coles and god, the shops are packed. The afternoon was spent with my sister making carrot cake, frosting, mini cheesecakes and Bailey's puppy chow mm and all three turned out delicious so I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back.
We went to this Chinese restaurant in Thornleigh and omg seriously Asians have no courtesy I FUCKING HATE CANTONESE PEOPLE WHY ARE THEY SO GODDAMN LOUD I actually yelled still this woman to shut up but either she didn't understand, didn't hear or ignored me.
Dessert at home turned out to be an explosive affair as we all debated for and against same sex marriage and adoption and some people truly disgust me.
Anyway my stomach is a mountain so no sleep for a while. Think I'll pass the night playing MarioKart and finish Murakami tomorrow.
I am so fucking sick of this.
11:43 PM
Thursday, December 12, 2013
I will still be here
Sat my ass in front of the couch all day watching movies. The night I was supposed to watch It's a Wonderful Life, well it didn't load so instead I watched Who Framed a Roger Rabbit. Point is I watched it today and I never thought James Stewart was attractive till this film. Then I just prayed YouTube had substantial amounts of Some Like it Hot and just lmfao'd through what I could find.
Had some Thai out with mum and oh my god I saw Jake at towers! I still remember the last time I saw him which was after a chem exam in Year 11. Actually, yes it was the half yearly that I slept in for and had to do a make up exam another day and I remember thinking how lucky I was. Jokes, that was the start of chem going absolutely downhill. He is huge now, shoulders and neck are so muscular.
Sob I love Troy so much. You just cannot resist the men in that film. Except for Paris, fucking pussy AND RUINED THE POTENTIAL FUTURE OF ACHILLES AND BRISEIS. As usual, I'm gonna have to go find the director's cut scenes and see more of Brad Pitt's butt. God just imagine the anguish Aniston went through, ending it with him at his physical prime mmm. There's also something very entrancing about the haunting female vocals. Plus Josh Groban during the credits. Yep can't get enough of this film.
Obviously going to go to bed feeling very sexually frustrated.
On a more sentimental note, I saw some HGHS year 12s today. Sigh, just relived memories of lunch and recess and the library frees and randomly bumping into people in the corridors who I will probably not associate with anymore.
11:52 PM
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
111213
It appears that blogging will be an every-second-day thing now, since one day is not filled with enough to recount. Two days are hardly enough either, really.
Yesterday I finally finished As I Lay Dying after forcing myself through the last hundred pages and wanting to fucking shoot everybody.
Today I finally resumed Hard Boiled Wonderland, which I haven't touched since attempts to analyse it as a half yearly related. It's so fucking awesome, not sure why I struggled through the first hundred pages so much but oh my god such a page turner. However I shouldn't be excited to reach the end because, being Murakami, there won't be any resolute ending and the ambiguity will eat at me.
In other news, I also resumed wearing my plate and wow the pain... really felt like getting braces all over again. But I guess since nobody is seeing me, I can wear it as long as possible all day and hopefully by the end of the year, my teeth will sort of be aligned again.
YAY TIME TO READ.
11:45 PM
Monday, December 9, 2013
Please
I went driving again yesterday with my dad this time, and I nearly hit two cars at once and didn't notice a pedestrian trying to cross. Otherwise it went well.
And then it's all Jess' fault that I wasted more download watching EA and LBD. It's because you can't just stop after watching one. It's always, oh, I'll just watch one more, and one more, and then the whole series.
Ooh but I started the book journal I got during trials and wrote the dates of when I finished books post-HSC and gave it a little review and rating. This will motivate me, though I'm upset I didn't start one earlier. Just means I'll have to reread all my old books if I want to put them in there too.
So many houses in my area get super festive for Christmas and hang all these lights and inflatables and other decorations. It makes walks so much more joyful.
Today I watched a season of Friends lol and then listening to All I Want For Christmas on repeat. Going to need to watch Love Actually soon.
2014 in three weeks. Please don't come.
10:41 PM
Saturday, December 7, 2013
most wonderful time
Yesterday we went to Carlo for a dentist clean and ugh, sitting in that chair is the worst. My nails are always digging into my palms as a precautionary diversion from any pain that could occur in my mouth. And then we ruined our nice clean mouth feeling with an unhealthy lunch and this cheap delicious Chinese restaurant mm.
Mum took me driving for a couple hours and we nearly died twice but it was only my fault one time. That was probably the most exciting thing that happened all day next to FaceTime with Anika later that night.
I spent today's morning downloading a playlist of Christmas songs because they can always lift up my mood, and Sinatra's voice gives me shivers, it's so exquisite. Continuing my admiration of Golden Hollywood, I spent the afternoon drooling watching Mogambo because Clark Gable was still devastatingly attractive at the age of 52.
Parents went out for dinner so I decided to return home for a sister/dog bonding evening where we watched LBD and Elf while throwing pieces of nutri grain at each other's mouths. However, since we failed to catch 90% of the cereal, my dog ended up eating about two bowls of it as she pounced on the pieces that rebounded off our faces. Then, because we felt bad about eating (and wasting) so much cereal, decided to make 'clean' banana oat pancakes which were very good considering I put in about a teaspoon of sugar.
Time to shower and read because I've been terrible and fallen asleep watching a screen rather than reading a book. So the goal is to get through fifty pages of Faulkner and NOT pass out on it.
And our Christmas tree is up!
11:42 PM
Thursday, December 5, 2013
marvellous
I don't want the new year or uni to come but oh my god I cannot pass every single day with nothing worthwhile to do. Reading is taking its toll on my eyes. Sitting/lying down is encouraging fat to just deposit itself everywhere. The weather isn't even pleasant okay where the fuck is summer?
Otherwise, I had a pretty good time today listening to all of Taylor Swift's albums on repeat, but mostly Fearless.
Right now I'm just feeling super depressed watching Friends behind-the-scenes and everything and I think I'm gonna go and have a marathon after I publish this post.
I wish I could read books for the first time again.
11:40 PM
RED TOUR
Tuesday:
Uneventful day besides watching Lolita and enjoying it more than the book. Probably because Jeremy Irons was so attractive, I was so jealous of that 15yo bitch. It was a lot more explicit sexually than I expected with all the immature making out and sex scene. But it was just better because reading the book, I couldn't quite imagine the characters at all. It skipped a lot though, I enjoyed the deleted scenes which were so crucial.
Wednesday: RED TOUR WHOOOO
Tbh was not excited at all for this concert once I got the tickets. Wasn't even enthused enough to go listen to the whole album so I regretted not knowing most of the lyrics except her singles of course, and the songs in the previous album.
Anyway Aparna and I died in our hideous sandals all the way to Moore Park and the shuttles were very efficient, very impressive. I'm just sad my clogs caused me so much pain. I'd walked in them for hours before today and they never hurt until today, it was just a nightmare. The crowds were ridiculous. That's what 40,000 people look like all packed together. We lined up for a while to get merchandise and the guy serving us was beautiful. The shirts were all pretty gross with her face plastered everywhere so I just got this grey subtle one with the concert details and no particularly obvious sign of it being a merchandise shirt to the general public passerby. Then we lined up for ages for this free photo booth but it was so awesome, so HD and pretty.
Bleh didn't care about Guy Sebastian and I'm pretty sure no one was there to see Neon Trees lol.
Sigh Taylor Swift's legs make me cry, the cameras pretty much captured them at every angle half the time. This bitch behind us screamed at some ridiculously unbearable pitch, no exaggeration when we thought we went slightly deaf.
The concert was AWESOME (though not as good as Fearless in 2010). The stadium was huge but our sears weren't too far and the screens were massive too so we could always see her. She only sang half the sings in the album though and two from each of the previous two albums. Thought the rain was gonna come down on us during I Knew You Were Trouble which would've been awesomely appropriate. But then it ended after 1.5 hours with We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together and wtf where was the encore omg everyone just left.
Leaving the area was a nightmare, soooo many people but again, bless the efficient buses and Aparna's dad for driving me back.
My feet literally can't support my weight right now, I don't think I can move around much tomorrow. Anyway no regrets, it was fantastic and now I'm going to be in a phase for a while but I'll probably listen to Fearless mostly because fldwjnfladknfladknflda best album ever.
And now sleep.
1:42 AM
Monday, December 2, 2013
viddy
Tiring day today. I spent two and a half hours driving and it was a massive improvement from lesson one over a month ago. Even managed not to panic and kill everyone on Tuckwell AND Showground Rd so I'm pretty pleased with myself.
Otherwise, I don't get my family and why drama must always happen right before special occasions like, I don't know, birthdays and Christmas?! I swear there hasn't been one December in the past few years that has not been filled with some sort of drama. There's not even school to provide an escape throughout the day.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is a very strange play. I started it, thinking it'd be easier than Faulkner which was a foolish assumption because it's an experimental text. Textual Dynamics rubric is ingrained in my mind, don't think I can ever forget it or stop applying it to relevant things when I notice it.
Taylor Swift concert on Wednesday and I don't even know her album lol why did I try so hard to get shit tickets,
11:55 PM
Sunday, December 1, 2013
summerrrrrr
Sigh, I've been sleeping so late and waking so late as a result. It really kills me to see the time hit double digits before I've woken up.
Saturday, I made the mistake of downloading High School Story app which pretty much consumed my weekend but it's so addictive, can't stop won't stop. It's impeding on my reading time though. That and Faulkner is just too hard to get through :(
I finally decided to watch A Clockwork Orange that night, knowing I'd never be able to get through the book one day if I didn't watch the film and I guess it wasn't that bad considering it was rated R. No violence that I couldn't handle (Y) Just sad that I had to resort to subtitles because lol that language. Out of all the Burgess vocabulary, I think I picked up on one word.
Sunday is the first day of December and SUMMER, even though it did not feel like it at all. New latest waking time: 11am. So horrified. And it's going to happen again tomorrow because now I am loading It's a Wonderful Life to get me into a Christmas mood. Hopefully our tree is going up next week, yes! Even though it means we've got to fill it up with presents now and I have no money yay.
Right right right.
10:57 PM