Genevieve
You forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.
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Monday, November 30, 2009
i'm pissed. and i don't even know why. maybe a mixture of small, stupid things that sound totally unreasonable. i've been pms-ing for like months. and now, i just found out my friend's moving to melbourne.
well today was gay. got my george p this morning. finally. had soccer first period. did nothing. just stood on the side of the field. maths next. did nothing again. geo. watched something on the amazon. saw some amazonian men's penis'. almost got lunchtime detention. lunch. bummed around with the force. started raining. english last. read some stupid script. it started pouring. then stopped. then started just before the bell went. so me, christine and audrey shared anorah's umbrella. it was funny. and they kept stepping into water puddles. my shoes are still wet. stood the entire bus ride.
went home. piano. eat. shower. blog. tv.
7:52 PM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
i feel like throwing up again
8:42 PM
so bored
okay i am so bored, i'm just going to elaborate on my day.
in the morning. woke up. nothing to eat so i ate nutella toast. then i realised the jar was empty so i scraped the remaining nutella while watching tv. it was yummo. watched tv till like 12. then decided to i wanted to shower earlier so i showered. then talked about what presents to get for the family. then i went to towers to buy me and elaine's present for carla. bought her havaianas and mascara. met up with carla. gave the present to her. walked around doing nothing. found some really pretty flats at dj's. witchery. $140. going on my wishlist! ate mcdonalds. saw the other g. saw this really hot guy modelling for just jeans. found out my sister got the nokia n97. so unfair. i dont want that phone but i want a new one. but mum said it's better to wait for the really new models and pay off my current phone a little more. then we got a telechoice card which is actually really cool cause you can use it to get discounts like everywhere! anyway. walked around a little more.
went home. went online. blogged. tried to watch youtube but nothing to watch. man today is getting boring.
6:29 PM
100 post
so today. watched tv for like 5 hours. then went to buy carla's present and then met up with carla and then gave her the present and then walked around. sister got a phone. so unfair. i want a new phone. but i'll wait for a new new phone.
gosh nothing to post anymore. i can sum up my day in a few sentences.
5:44 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
what do i do?
i have a massive headache now. thinking too much. stressing and worrying. i need to clear things up. if it ends up with me never speaking to him again, i don't know how i'll live with myself. i need you.
2:07 PM
Friday, November 27, 2009
why?
why? why would you lie to me? why are you acting so different? how many other times have you lied to me? do you know how much it hurts? how much i have wanted to cry just because of you? you don't. you just don't understand how i feel. why? is it because you're leaving, you decided to slowly break away from me? slowly leave me as you leave? why? tell me. what good will it do for you and for me? do you want me to hate you? it won't happen. you mean too much to me.
i have so many questions for you. so much more to know about you. you don't even care. how much do you even know about me? you know who you are.
i just wish you could tell me the truth.
7:55 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
NEW SKIN
new skin! do you like it? i do. i especially like the picture. the dress is very pretty.
9:30 PM
sigh
so, lots of things have been happening. not bothered to write it all up cause this new computer has a gay keyboard. i cant freaking type.
but audrey. if you read this before i talk to you, i am not sure why you are so pissed off at me. why are we on such bad terms lately? maybe it's because we handle issues in a similar way, which makes everything much worse for us. what ever i said to you that really annoyed you, i don't know, but there's no need to give me the silent treatment and ignore me as if i don't exist.
7:37 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
dedicate again
once again, i want to tell those people i love just really how much they mean to me. this is like my third one. and hopefully last.
pack: very friendly and intimate
yup. that's what pack means in scottish. i think it describes us perfectly. pretty cool, eh?
my sexy sexy group. you guys are just so gay but awesome and even in times like these, still manage to have our laughs, our stupid jokes, our rape cases. it won't be the same when you leave, but we'll stick together. if i need to cry, i know you guys will be there to lend me a shoulder or just show that you care. sure we have our stupid little arguments and fights, but that just shows we all care. you mean everything to me. i couldn't imagine my life without you. i love you all so much.
crew: a company; crowd
you have the largest group out of all of us, which just makes things so much fun. hehe you guys are all so greedy, but you're still uberly cool. the fob group. so in to ugly asian guys. the crew is such a great group of friends, not to mention huge, who stick together, except on outings which will probably annoy the public. try not to steal all our food at those little parties. but we'll be stealing yours this time! we have heaps of fun together. i love you guys.
force: a person or group capable of influential action
okay well i don't know anything you guys are influencing except for maybe woman-like-men but that doesn't mean you're not awesome. i don't really know some of you well but the ones i'm close to, you guys are so epic and funny and i always laugh when i'm with you. we also have pretty similar interests so that's awesome. i hope i get to know some of you better. i love you.
PACKCREWFORCE
5:15 PM
Monday, November 23, 2009
cold
so. didn't go to school today. last night was so hot and i was dying. it was 30 degrees at 12am. so i slept at like 1 and mum was like, you can wake up whenever. so i didn't go to school. tidied my room. went yum cha. it was disgusting. shopped. kept trying to find the headphones. tried on shoes. went home. piano. suite life. ahhh.
its so cold. i hate cold. hate hate HATE. i prefer heat. i hate winter. i like all the seaons except winter. go die winter.
6:03 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
haircut
finally got my haircut today. and after all that time, it turned out bad. seriously. ugh. and its so hot.
carla, i hope you're okay. i'll try do my best to help you. don't push yourself to do anything you feel you need to do. when you're comfortable and sure, then go for it. but right now, it's not a good time. you're not in a good state so try not to worry about it too much now. focus on the happy things in life. talk to me when you need me baby.
3:08 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
oh my gosh
well. school. yesterday. was so unbelievably horrible. FUCKING HELL. you want to fucking know WHY we can't get aircon in our school? yeah? because its a fucking heritage site and YOU CAN'T FUCKING PUT ANYTHING ON THE WALLS. fucking hell! i bloody hate this school. and we had the worst subjects. pe. music, there was aircon. tech, ugh fuck it. geo. went to music room and got blissful aircon. died on the bus. so fucking hot.
went to library with carla after school. stayed there for 4 hours talking about her problems. then we realised flowerpot was there and carla was freaking out that he heard everything. don't worry honey. i dont think he did. he had headphones. and unless it was on pause or he was listening to really soft piano, he wouldn't have heard. long discussion. i hope my advice was helpful. you know you can talk to me anytime about it. we should've had a sleepover. you claim you could've gone the whole night talking. hehe.
now. it is so bloody hot. tomorrow is even hotter. we're going to die when i'm 63. god why don't we realise what we're doing.
5:15 PM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
so hot
it was so hot. i was freaking dying. so today was pretty boring.
va. we got our results and i actually did really good. hopefully it'll make up for other gay subject marks i'll be getting.
science. ugh. i hate mrs graham so bloody much. that bitch is so boring. just did some random test. lol i put christine's rubber on her chair and she didn't realise and i was laughing my head off and then she's like, "i can feel something going into my ass."
tech. gay. measured. cut. jchu and sandra were wearing their jumpers and it was so hot. so i took jenny's off but sandra wouldnt let me.
pe. i love ms legge. didnt make us do sport outside. we did some yoga thing. gosh it was so gay. and so easy. i was so bored. then we got into pairs and did stretches. lol i was with christine and i was teaching her all these yoga stretches i know and she was so fail. ahahaha.
ARGH my dad's mowing the lawn. so loud. OH. i need justin bieber songs.
6:18 PM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
why?
what are you doing?
are you trying to tell us something?
if so, please do.
you're so complicated.
you don't tell us
what's on your mind.
why?
do you not trust us?
please.
we trust you.
we can't just ask you;
you'd make something up.
or at the least,
not really tell us the truth.
why?
talk to us.
please.
7:33 PM
hello.
today was so boring.
french first. it was so great to have mr laing instead of that stupid gomez. lol we were guessing her nationality and jina's like, ''JAMAICAN!'' and it was funny. shes actually columbian. what a gay accent. its so annoying. now we have to remember a stupid poem. in french. about a bag that smells like everything imaginable. even cowboys.
english. LOL. we did improvisations and we went to the drama room. it was so funny. me and audrey paired up and she played audrey, a student who got paired with yannick for a history project and i played the teacher. and she basically tries to suck up to me and beg to change partners. quite funny. and then sandra's and jchu's was SO hilarious. i was freaking dying. "at least i have curves. you're like a board.'' LOL.
geo. hindmarsh was doing ABW so we still didnt get our results. we watched this gross documentary on the rainforest and it was so freaking disgusting. ugh.
music. had re instead. so horrible. god that stupid jericho story thing is so bloody ridiculous. i was so pissed off.
went to dick smith at the mall with carla looking for the headphones. then went to all these places at towers. found none. had a soft serve cone. they're 50 cents now! tried to look for cute guys. only saw 2. so sad.
so tired.
6:29 PM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
so;
pretty bludge day today
science. UGH the freaking teacher was away so we couldnt get out results. same with geography yesterday! did nothing. then like during the last 20 minutes, me and christine were freaking starving our asses off. so for some gay reason, we started thinking about all the food we wanted. my stomach was literally screaming.
english. gay. we were reading the stupid granny thing. i had to play a part. gosh that chick's lines were so long.
french. we had that stupid sub with a gay accent. ms GOMEZ. ugh. gosh. and she wrote this long poem and made us copy it. then she gave us freaking photocopies. she's so stupid. and we were singing high school musical the entire time.
"do i wear classic or vintage or plaid? where's the mirror? i think this tux is too baggy, too tight, it makes me look weird."
maths. me and carla sat in class talking about a poor guy with a gay name and my papilidonous. ahhh fun.
took bus. went home. went for a walk. watched tv. blogging.
9:07 PM
my men
i love my life! so filled with yummy men.
antonio: the super-cute max brenner waiter me and carla fondly name 'antonio'. he was so cute! he talked to us and smiled and laughed at us. very cute. looked italian. hence the name antonio.
antonio's friend: on sunday, me and carla were at the piazza and we were heading to the mall. we walked past max brenner hoping to see antonio, but instead, saw another really cute guy. except the nose was a little turn-off and antonio was way hotter, but still. impressive.
jake papilidonous: SEXY ST. LEO'S. oh my gosh he is so hot. like beyond hot. on our bus most mornings last year. not so much this year. he's like, uber tall and dark hair and eyes and pretty tank. and he'd put his ipod or phone in his mouth when he needs to use his hands for something. he looks greek-ish or something, so carla gave the last name papilidonous. jake just sounded hot and he was hot so hot and hot mix together pretty well. i was like like, going to faint. he is really really hot.
marcus: jake's friend. another st. leo's. so cute! he has curly hair and some freckles and he normally wears this hoodie. last time, we saw him get off at normo with jake. ahh! and luckily, this morning, when i got on the train from penno, and went to the carriage after guard's, he was there! so happy.
zac: oh. my. god. so so so SO cute. today, when me and carla got on the bus, it was like full. no more seats. and we had to head straight to the back. and on the back seat was the guy with the nicest blue eyes after zac efron. hence the name, zac. they were a really pretty light blue and i was just staring at him. me and carla squeezed next to him. he was wearing a singlet so i could look at his biceps and, boy, they were impressive alright. and he had such long lashes that curled up very nicely. i took some photos! pretty bad ones but zac, is so hot.
4:34 PM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
another dedication
pack: honestly, you guys do not know how much you mean to me. i dont show it a lot, but i really love you. you guys help me get through everyday. we laugh, we talk, we have so much fun. especially when we go to sandra's group. i treasure each day, as i know it won't be complete anymore. i love you so much. never forget.
zhangwongwang: me, carla and elaine co-found this awesomly group. together we will learn to conquer procrastination and bad grades! you guys are so awesome. carla; we can text all day with something to say all the time. we go out heaps, and we spend all our money on food. we have heaps of fun each time. thank you for helping me with my ipod. i love you. elaine; gosh we never agree on anything but we have a lot in common. yeah we both listen to awesome music. your laugh is so retarded, its so funny. can't wait to see newmoon! both of you, you're so cool. i love you heaps. hopefully, we'll be in the same maths class and fail together.
aidan: man. you cocky boy. i love you. so much. i have dedicated many posts to you and don't know if you read them all. you're a great person. you're smart, loyal and faithful. i can't imagine my life without you. i can trust you. i know you'll be successful later. i don't want this year to end. i wish you the best. don't forget me. i won't ever forget you.
7:37 PM
daily horoscope
im bored. so i feel like posting my horoscope for the day. the ones from smh.com.au are freakishly accurate at some times.
Aquarius: You are urged to allow yourself the day off from serious affairs and relax. This is sensitive and creative day, meant for enjoying beauty, nature, romance and the love of family and friends. Clear thinking is unavailable anyway, so you may as well enjoy the day. Go for a drive, write, paint or socialise.
considering my boring life, i may be posting a lot of them.
7:26 PM
today
so. yoga. tv. shower. then went out with carla
gosh we saw this really cute guy come out from max brenner. i just thought his nose was a bit of a turn off. then we had sushi cause carla was hungry. then we bought easyway. there was this group of retarded white girls and two asians. one of the asians was carrying a cr and she was so freaking tiny it pissed me off. carla got uber pissed cause she reckons that white people shouldn't drink easyway or something. anyway we tried looking for cute guys. none. then we spent like half an hour discussing gay names. it was funny. then i went to apartment. then i spent like a whole hour having a talk with my grandpa about my future. i understood most of it which is a pretty good achievement.
i'm hungry.
6:27 PM
yo;
well i'll be leaving in like 10 minutes to towers with carla. miss me? yes of course you will.
gosh the weather is so gay. its going to be so fucking hot tomorrow. plus i have soccer. ugh. yesterday, i think i pulld my hamstring in yoga. it hurts.
gosh there's nothing to write anymore. how bludge.
reconsidering the big kris kringle. crew force pack, maybe we should just do it among our own groups.
12:11 PM
Saturday, November 14, 2009
lalala
so. today was actually a pretty good day.
woke up. thought it was 10. only 8. did some yoga. ate french toast. downloaded lots more songs. listened to ipod. napped. watched tv. did more yoga. watched more tv. texted carla and elaine. made plans. excited. watching more tv. about to eat dinner.
did nothing really. but it was really fun. and the weather was pretty pleasant. going out with carla tomorrow. i wanted to see 2012. i think the story behind it was totally fucked. seriously. and if i jinxed it, im sorry. so decided not to. theres like no good movies anymore. they're all gay.
7:39 PM
anyway
exams are over. lessons are back on. life is good. now i have time to watch tv, go out, read, download more songs. keep texting carla. ZHANGWONGWANG. anyway, it's a nice day. not very hot.
finally decided to listen to jaychou. yes carla. nice songs. but he's ugly. but don't worry. he's unlike show luo, who is ugly and can't sing.
nothing to post. haven't been online for a while. make the skin pretty elaine.
11:40 AM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
DUDE, where's my car
i love dude where's my car.
so funny.
i love ashton kutcher.
dude, where's my car?
where's your car dude?
8:29 PM
Monday, November 9, 2009
fail
tomorrow.
epic.
fail.
so.
fucked.
ugh.
10:38 PM
study!
ugh the exams were AWFUL! like so terrible. my hand is freaking dying. and pearl's english file won't freaking open.
ugh so tired. geo, pe and french tomorrow. FRENCH! SHIT!
kill me now
6:15 PM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
fucking hell
FUCK! EVERYONE JUST FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT!
i dont care what your problems are. there is no fucking need to fucking tell the world. if its private, it stays private, unless you want everyone to know and question.
what is wrong with everyone? all these guy problems. guys arent the freaking world or the end of the world. want to complain? nobody wants to hear it. and me? if i complain, its because everyone seems fucked up and right now, and feels a need to express to everyone. nobody needs that right now. so just grow up and shut up.
8:47 PM
god
life is such a mess right now. why? why now?
11:25 AM
Saturday, November 7, 2009
no
i cant stand this.
i dont want to even try.
i wish i could just kill myself.
i hate my life.
1:59 PM
i hate this
i hate everything thats going on right now.
how could this year turn so bloody shit?
why is this happening?
is every single good thing in my life supposed to be ruined all the time?
time is going so fast. every second means everything.
i feel so left out of everything now.
everyone always seems to be crying or upset or angry.
i hate it.
it just makes me feel worse, even if i have nothing to do with it.
why is life so terrible right now?
what will i do when they're gone?
will it ever be the same?
how am i going to cope with everything?
what is even the point?
1:14 PM
Friday, November 6, 2009
dear blog
so many posts today. ah. i seem to pour everything into this blog. go all emotional. make carla cry. again. i wish i was able to actually express it. sadly, i'm not like that. i hold back my hurt and pain, and let others have their way. it's not a good thing. i'm not proud of it. i hate it when i can't cry or say what i really mean. if i had my way, i'd be crying every day. i actually do cry when i'm in bed at night. where i can let all the worst thoughts imaginable run into my head and haunt me. the overload of horrible images is finally enough to make me cry. less intense things, it's just stuck in me. you have no idea how much i wish to be able to cry a lot like some people. i hate watching people cry. i have no idea what to do, except hold them and let them cry.
if i saw a shooting star right now, i'd wish for all the people i love; to be happy; to never ever feel pain or hurt or grief; to never have to regret anything; to be loved and to love. that'd be a lot of shooting stars.
i just wish there was no pain in this world.
8:27 PM
stop it.
my god.
you are just so plain selfish.
always thinking about yourself.
stop it. just once.
it's not about you in this situation.
you're not even close.
you're so blind.
you don't see that it's just you here.
stop it. wake up.
it's not real.
stop hoping.
just leave it.
8:15 PM
my day
gosh i am so tired. i was passing out. such bludge subjects. pe. pretty fun actually. basketball and hockey. lol me sylvia and jina played truth or dare. then music. god. i hate music. stupid singing. screwing my throat. tech. its fun designing my house! geo. ah. got to sleep for like 5 minutes. yeah then went to penno. aidan came. carla cried. we had a group hug. bus ride was so quiet. well not really. the fucking normos. then went home. doing my notes. no. re-typing it. i can't freaking read the ones i wrote. i swear i will never handwrite my notes EVER.
5:16 PM
carla, dear.
carla.
i love you. don't forget. come to me when you feel sad.
if this guy likes you, great. i'll support you 100%. i won't judge you.
if he doesn't like you, i can go give him a piece of my mind. but i have your back.
if you need a shoulder to cry on, i'll give you both of mine.
don't let anyone unworthy of you bring you down.
you're special. everyone loves you. you have great friends that'll always be there for you.
look at the special good things you have in your life.
the force, the pack, the crew. come to us when you need to.
don't keep everything inside you. you can trust me.
dont dwell on the sad things.
keep in mind the people who love you, who appreciate you
there are many worse things.
don't let it make you miserable.
i love you.
5:12 PM
Thursday, November 5, 2009
hello
havent gone on the computer for a few days. or blog really. so anyway. oh my god, tuesday was so bloody hot. 38 DEGREES! fuck fuck i was dying. and then after school it was so bloody hot. at least i was taken home. the bus driver was going spastic. phew. anyway it was so hot. i was dying. DYING. it was 31 degrees at like 10pm! yeah and then aidan called at 10:30. man you suck with phones. so yeah. talked a bit. too hot. so hot. ARGH. after we hung up i tried to sleep. so hot. i couldnt sleep till 12. and i woke up at 6am the next day.
wednesday. argh terrible day. it went cold and i started getting sick and i still had to copy audrey's science notes. started va as well. halfway through it. jenny sent me her geo notes. I LOVE YOU JWEI. what would i do without you?
today. ugh rain. i hate rain. unless its like uberly uber heavy. with thunder and lightning. anyway, such bludge subjects today. va, science, tech and pe. in va, we won lollipops. lol. except christine took coke and i was stuck with orange. tech was alright. i like decorating my house. then pe. gah audrey decided to get her pe shoes, so me, her and christine went to her locker which is all the way in the history block. then we went back. LOL on the way, christine and audrey were trying to act as each other. so funny. but when we went back to the change rooms, it was empty and we were like shit. and then we saw jenny and sandra changing and we were like SHIT. so we ran to the library. lol so funny. we were so tired we couldnt even walk up the stairs. we ended up watching up princess diaries 2. CHRIS PINE IS SO HOT! *drool* then school ended and me, audrey and christine ran to the history lockers again, dying. put our shoes back, and then ran to the train station, being earlier than usual. how gay. yeah. bus with carla was so quiet. then we went to food court and ate pizza with abi. then mum and i went grocery shopping. i like grocery shopping. there's always heaps of stuff to find. then went home. uploaded elaine's songs onto my ipod. oh shit. i forgot the other folder of songs. yeah. then printed geo and jina's french notes.
jenny wanted me to update the blog. im getting bored of it. nothing interesting is really happening.
7:49 PM
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
pms-ing without actually psm-ing
so today. i woke up really tired. and then i went to school. school was gay. seriously. maths, english and science in the same day? give me a break. so then it was so bloody hot. 38 freaking degrees. but i got taken home by mum. suck.
then we had maccas. that mcflurry never tasted so good. yummo. yeah and then angus, thongs and perfect snogging was on and i spent half the movie staring at aaron johnson. ROBBIE! ahh going through a phase. he is so so so so so so cute. *dies*
then yeah. i got really pissed for this reason. gosh who does this person think they are? the new best friend? get real. bloody person. i wonder what goes on in your head. do you have any consideration of anyone elses feelings besides you? gosh. i wonder how this person puts up with you.
the heat is not helping my mood.
6:35 PM
Monday, November 2, 2009
dead
i am so tired. been copying audrey's science notes. took forever. argh i think im sick again. scratchy throat, blocked nose, dead ears. cold. i need to go to school though. theres important subjects and i need to return audrey's notes.
man it was hot today. god freaking soccer first. then maths. i was like paranoid cause mr payne was marking our books. then geo. it was actually really fun. me and christine and audrey were being gay and couldnt stop laughing and then mr hindmarsh sat and joined our conversation. then we had lunch. i was so hungry. but we went to library and studied. my stomach hurt.
then after school, when we got off at penno, i saw aidan. gosh that was a shock. he said he was coming to penno like in the last week of term.
SUITE LIFE ON DECK SEASON 2! it was actually pretty gay. like, zack and cody, their voices are like breaking and it sounds terrible. and london isn't as dumb. and bailey is getting annoying now that she's finally dating cody. i like season 1 better.
on the phone with christine. can't even talk properly with this blocked nose.
9:50 PM